Dueto technical difficulties with the site's server, I have had to reconstructthis site from memory. (Backup!!!)�If God had meant sex to be beautiful,He would not have made the private parts so ugly.�
A beautiful woman is still beautifulnaked.�
Equal rights for men! Equal rightsfor men. If women can have long hair, so can men! I am not a sexist pig.I believe in equal rights!�
Equal rights! Why in the worldwould women want equal rights? They have more rights than we do now. Theywant equal rights? I say give it to them! Put them on the front lines!Let us get rid of them! Especially, the dogs.�
If we strive for no government,we might get what we actually need.�
You want to kill yourself smoking?Go ahead.� There are too many people in the world now.� We needto get rid of some of them. Just as long as you do not take me with you.�
Unlike Will Rogers I can notsay I have never met a man that I did not like, but I have always triedto treat everyone with the same decency and respect with which I in turnexpect to be treated.�
Discovering that you have nomoney to pay is like suddenly discovering that you are naked.�
You think you are so tough? Letus see you quit smoking.�
I do not hate smokers just smoke.�
I am patriotic. That is exactlywhy I do not buy savings bonds. Buying bonds lets the government off thehook and weakens the financial strengh of the country. Savings bonds mortgagethe future and make your kids pay for your lifestyle.�
The only thing that I am an activistagainst is corruption and stupidity.�
The only manner in which my ownmind can explain my own existence is with the concept of a God. However,this trait does not mean that there really is a God, just that my mindcan not conceive of any other explanation for my existence. I believe inGod because I have no other choice not because of faith.�
I see no difference or conflictamong religion, science, or art.�
I see no reason to have sex.What do I get out of it, a kid I do not want or a disease I do not want?�
Killing is never right. Killingis often necessary.�
We are not going anywhere soon,so we better take care of the planet we have.�
Polluting other planets, manreminds me of a plague.�
It makes my stomach hurt wheneveranyone drops ice cream.�
I am a radical moderate.�
A dictatorship is a dictatorshipregardless of whether of the left or of the right.�
If a black man wants to giveme all his money, that is ok with me. The only color I am concerned withis green.�
People do dumb things.�
The government's job is to maintaina free enterprise system.� (It is not doing its job.)�
Most people blame the free enterpriseaspects of society for causing their problems when in reality it is thenon-free enterprise aspects of society that causes their misery.�
It never ceases to amaze me howseemingly intelligent people can stab themselves in the back.� (Myself included, unfortunately.)�
A democratic, free enterprisesystem should be instituted inside an organization as well as outside.�
All roads are bad.�
Quality of life is not lost ingreat leaps and bounds, but in the little day to day decisions that manmakes every day.�
I never fool around with a marriedwoman. I figure if she fools around on him she will fool around on me.�
Growth and progress are not necessarilythe same.�
I shop for women just like Ishop for anything else. I look for the best deal that I can find for themoney. If I was rich, I would not mind spending money on some dog.�
A woman's body is 85% of herphysical beauty.�
I am not a racist, but I am arealist.�
Unions are the result of poormanagement.�
You may be the boss, but youmay never be a manager.�
Being the boss only makes peoplesay you are right. It does not make you right.�
A family is a luxury that I havenever been able to afford.�
When one has a wife, one doesnot need to go to the movies.�
I need a car. I do not need awife.�
Clean is rich. Rich is clean.Be rich. Keep this country clean.�
If you love this country, donot litter.�
If you love country, do not litter.�
Living in the country is an oxymoron.If you live there, it is not country.�
I love the country that is whyI live in the city.�
If a man kills a hundred men,is it ok for him to kill the hundred and first? I do not think so.�
I have a strong mind and a softheart.�
I only have one eye open becauseI did not get much sleep last night and I am still half asleep.�
How much I weigh is not of greatconcern. What the weight looks like is.�
Kids are funny, but they willdrive you nuts.�
Any woman who has a kid is nuts.�
Smokers cost a company 20% morethan nonsmokers. Almost everyone in Japan smokes. All they have to do isquit smoking and they will conquer the world.�
If a man wins $10 million inthe lottery one day and then loses it all at the tracks the next day, isthat man wealthy or poor? He is STUPID! But he is also wealthy. Wealthand assets are not the same. Wealth is how much money one has made nothow much one has.�
If a person wants to give mea million dollars in pennies that is ok with me.�
If you think it takes a man tohave sex, try not having sex; that will REALLY make a man out of you! GRRRRR!!!!�
Road construction is not, orat least should not be a popularity contest. It should be based upon scientificprinciples including economics and engineering.�
In support of abortion, fem libsargue they must have control over their own bodies. What I have never understoodis why they can not exert control over their own bodies 3 months earlier.�
I tell the truth and people donot want to hear the truth.�
I make people think and peopledo not want to think.�
I may not always tell the truth,but I never lie.�
There are 3 ways to lie and tellthe truth at the same time. What are they?�
It takes a really smart man tonever lie. I am not too sure anyone is that smart.�
The rich get the rich jobs andthe poor get the poor jobs.�
The rich manipulate experiencejust like they maniputlate everything else.�
If you think I said somethingincriminating, you did not understand what I said.�
I have enough money to buy anew car?� If I went out and spent it, I would not have it now wouldI?�
Companies reward people who lieand punish those who tell the truth.� Is it any wonder that the crooksrise to the top?�
Companies reward people to workslow not fast, then wonder why no one works hard.�
Nature or nurture?� It isboth, stupid.�
Do not blame me for your stupidity.�
The crooks rise to the top ofany political system.�
People believe what they wantto believe regardless of what the facts are.�
BEING gay is neither illegalnor immoral.� Sodomy is, but then so is fornication.�
A crying child tears me to pieces.�
If people were more concernedwith what is under their skin as opposed to what is on it, they would lookbetter and save a lot of money.�
No one puts a gun to your headand forces you to have kids anymore than anyone puts a gun to your headand forces you to buy a new car.�
People should accept responsibilityfor their actions.�
If you think school is so darneasy, go back to school and get an education.�
How long do you think it wouldtake me to learn what you know and how long do you think it would takeyou to learn what I know?� Now who do you think should get paid more?�
I believe in GOD not becauseof faith, but because the concept of a GOD is the only manner in whichmy brain can explain my own existence.� That does not mean that therereally is a GOD, just that that is the only way my brain can explain myown existence.�
The only color I am concernedwith is green.�
Actually, money was inventedto eliminate corruption.�
A woman's color is of no concern.�What her features are is.� However, this is not racism because I judgeall women this way.�
Life is tough enough on a kidwithout being a black kid.�
A dress hides a lot.�
I will not marry a woman whois richer than myself.� However, this is not sexist because if menmarrried men, I would not marry a man who is richer than myself either.�
I make a distinction betweenpersonal and business relationships.� Most businessmen do not makethis distinction, and this is why most businessmen are corrupt.�
If my wife does not like thecar I am driving, she can get out and walk.�
If I give some woman half mysalary, she is going to have sex with me any time I want her to have sexwith me.�
My education has cost me morethan half a million dollars.� What I want to know is, when am I goingto get a return on my investment?�
If the probably of success bygoing to school was not so high as to guarantee success, no one in theirright mind would do it.�
Calling a road a parkway is themother of all hypocrisy.�
What I have never understoodis, what keeps a woman from screamin g rape?�
School is a waste of time.�
Macho morons brag that they havehad sex with a 1,000 women.� Big deal!� All you are doing isputting a stick in a hole.� Cows do it for goodness sake!�
I would have made a great richplayboy, but I was born a poor intellectual.� (On the radio, I heardthe following quote:� "An intellectual is someone whose educationexceeds his intelligence."� I thought this was pretty funny, but didnot necessarily agree with it.� See quote on intelligence below.)�
Artificial intelligence?�That is the kind that I have.�
I am not that smart.� Ijust never stop working.��
Tobacco companies are reallysmart.� They get you to do something that you do not like (at leastnot initially).� They get you to do something that is bad for you.�AND they get you to pay for it.� Man, if that is not smart, I do notknow what is.�
How beer companies can associatebeer with sports is beyond me.� Beer is bad for your health and sportsare good for your health.� Either the beer companies are really smartor the public is really dumb.� Probably a little of both.�
I like to think I am smart enoughto find something to drink other than alcohol that will not do me any harm.�
I like to think of myself asa racecar driver and racecar drivers buckle up.�
What is the difference betweena wino and a drunk?� A wino only drinks wine.� (So much for thosesophisticated folks.)�
I never let my body rule my brain.�
Parents drink, and smoke, andcarry on and then are "surprised" when their kids do the same thing.�That is, if the kids are lucky enough to have parents who give a hoot.�If the parents really cared about their kids, they would lead by examplenot by fiat.�
There are two ways to make money.�One is to make more.� The other is too spend less.� I can notseem to make more so I have to spend less.�
When you borrow money, you payfor it twice.� The interest you pay for borrowing it and the interestyou lose by not saving it.�
If you do not want your spouseto be the first, you should not marry them.�
The greatest transformation inhistory is woman before marriage and woman after marriage.�
The second greatest transformationin history is employee before supervisory position and employee after supervisoryposition.�
Governments rewrite history allthe time.�
If you are well built, you willlook good wearing anything.�
A woman has done a good job ofputting on makeup when one can not tell she has any on.�
I am not a very good teacherbecause I expect my students to work as hard as I do.�
Bad road!� Bad road!�We will teach you to hurt someone.� We will channelize you!�Roads rarely hurt anyone.� Punish the driver not the road.�
For some odd reason, bosses seemto think that employees work to make the bosses rich.� I work to makemyself rich not my boss.� If more bosses realized this they wouldbe better bosses and probably make more money.�
I would rather be a poor smartperson than a poor dumb person, but I would rather be a rich dumb personthan a poor smart person.�
I went to school so I would nothave to move.�
You are doing a good job boss.�Oh, thanks for the raise boss.�
I have the bad habit of tellingthe truth.�
How come executives wives canget a job and I can not get a job.�
I have my price.� It isjust astronomical.�
You can always tell when bossesdo not know what they are doing, because they push and push and push.�
I am not honest because of anyinate quality, but because my memory is so bad that I would never be ableto remember all the lies that I would have to tell if I were not.�
I do not steal because of anyinate quality, but because the expected reward is rarely worth the expectedpunishment i.e., not worth the risk of losing even a minor paying job.�
In jail they have heating, airconditioning, television, libraries, fitness rooms, hot showers, and threesquare meals a day.� What I have not figured out is why I do not goout and murder someone just so I can get INTO jail.� Please Mr. Policeman!�Please do not put me into that briar jail!� Yeah, right!�
A state senator volunteered tohelp get a sunshine bill passed.� He helped and he helped.� Boy,did that guy help!� Yeah, right!�
How they can hire people whodrink and smoke (i.e. drug users) to catch drug criminals is beyond me.�
There are no unemployed in thiscountry any more.� They are all community college students.�
Any idea will work if you throwenough money at it.�
When I get paid by the hour,I get paid to work slow not fast.� For some odd reason, most bossesseem to think the opposite is true.�
The truth makes people mad.�
If I am nagged this much BEFOREI get married, I hate to imagine what it will be like after I get married.�
If you read it, it will influenceyou.�
Knowing what one is doing hasnever been a prequisite for getting or keeping a job.�
One does not see too many massmurderers who wear glasses.�
There is no such thing as safesex.� (I said it before I even heard of Dr. Ruth.)�
If you are not willing to putit in writing, then you must have something to hide.�
I have the guts (or is it stupidity?)to say what everyone else does not.�
Social drinking?� Do youhave to drink alcohol to socialize?�
It never ceases to amaze me howpeople can lie, cheat, steal, and/or do drugs and still think of themselvesas honest people.�
A lot of people have the samename.� Few have the same number.� Yet, most people consider numbersimpersonal.�
It does not do any good to gobarrelling down the railroad track, if it is the wrong track.�
An organization said it couldnot hire me without three employer references.� If I told them theycould not hire someone without three employer references, they would tellme that they can hire anyone they want any time they want.� (And theywould be right.)�
Egyptian slaves did not get paidanything and they were literally worked to death which just goes to provethat no matter how hard one works and how little one gets paid, some peopleare never satisfied.�
A life?� What is a life?�
When a lawyer says you do nothave a case, what he really means is that he is not smart enough to win.�
If you have to hire a lawyer,you have already lost.�
If a lawyer is not willing totake a case on commission, then he must not think he can win.� Thus,there is no sense in hiring him.�
When an interviewer says youare overqualified, what he really means is, "I can not hire you!�You might take my job!"�
What counts in compensation isnet wealth.�
Employees do not measure theirstatus by how long they have been with an employer but by their age.�
Once a younger person is promotedover you, you are what is considered dead wood.�
Money makes me happy.�
(1999) 240 million humans.�800 grizzly bears.� Nah!!! Grizzlies are not endangered.� Yeah,right!� Get real!� All "wild" non-human species are endangerby the human species.�
A drug enforcement manager useda drug mob invasion of virgin Iowa territory as "proof" that the laws ofeconomics does not apply to drug crime enforcement.� He obviouslydid not understand economics.�
In Africa, authorities burneda huge cache of poached ivory tusks.� Like Prohibition, they did justthe opposite of what they should have done.� They should have soldthe ivory and flooded the market and lowered the market price for ivorysuch that poachers would not have any incentive to poach and also usedthe money for enforcement purposes.�
Of course prohibition did notwork.� Authorities did just the opposite of what they should havedone.�
If you had three wishes, forwhat would you wish?� I only need one wish.� I wish to know everything.�If one knows everything, one can make a lot of money and buy the best healthcare in the world and "friends".�
Friends take time and I do nothave a lot of time.�
I am a romantic, but I do notlike to waste my time socializing.�
In a free enterprise system,risk and reward go hand in hand, but for the rich the risk is minor.�So what if they fail, they will probably still be rich.�
Unfortunately, in society, therich do perform certain good functions.�
Give me millionaire parents andsee what I can do.�
If a woman loves me, I shouldnot have to fight for her.� If a woman does not love me, there isno reason to fight for her.�
There are some movies for whicheven I am not old enough.�
A mature person should be ableto express himself without resorting to foul language.�
What do I think?� I trynot to.� Doing a pretty good job of it too!� (I do not want togive away my $500,000 education for nothing.)�
Because of the Delphi technique,I actually like to be criticized.�
Younger people are not smarter.�They just have more time to learn the stuff.�
I went to school so I would NOThave to work hard not so I would.�
No one told me to take all theseclasses?� Tell that to the parents.� (To get a good job get agood education.� A mind is a terrible thing to waste.� Networkingis hot! I could research a million more articles stating essentially thesame.)�
A restaurant wanted me to buya pair of black jeans of a particular brand as part of my uniform.�If I am going to spend my money, I am going to buy what I want not whatyou want.� In a general situation, if employees demanded that managementbuy them uniforms to wear, management would say, "Wearing uniforms is yourrequirement not ours.� Therefore, you should have to pay for themnot us.� Similarly were management to require employees to wear uniforms,then they should pay for them.�
Technology is changing so fastno one has experience.�
The trouble with most businessmenis that they are concerned with looks and lifestyle rather than performanceand thus waste a lot of energy directed towards things that have no bearingon success.�
Welfare is not a right.�It is a service.� (A necessary service unfortunately.)�
Anyone who goes on welfare shouldbe sterilized.�
If some grubby old toothlessblack lady wants to work for me and make me 200 million dollars, that isok with me.�
Beards save a lot of time anda lot o f money.�
I have shared a room with anIranian, an apartment with an Indonesian, a house with a Jew.� I havehad Indian, black, Jewish, Catholic, Vietnamese, women, etc. bosses.�I own a former little old black lady's house.� I am a lot of things,but racist is not one of them.�
You can not print more money.�Money is just like anything else.� The more you have the less it isworth.�
Your house is not worth more.�The dollar is worth less.�
People often say that I do notunderstand the "real" world (meaning politics).� Well, the REAL worldis defined by science and mathematics including probablity and statistics,quantum theory, chaos theory, string theory, economics, genetic (computer)code, chemical formulas, etc..� Indeed, all existence is mathematicallydefined including human interaction and action.� The "real" worlddoes not just "happen".�
A lot of people look with theireyes instead of their brain.�
It is not how many times youfall down.� It is how many times you get back up.� (Altough Iam getting a little tired of getting back up.)�
I do not want to work.�I just want to make money.� Unfortunately, the two seem to be relatedfor some reason.� I do not know why.� (Actually, I do not thinktheir is any correlation between hard work and money.� If there wereI would be a millionaire by now.)�
I drive what I can afford notwhat I like.�
I CAN be mean.� I just chosenot to be.� (Just as anyone can.)�
The founding of Israel?�I do not know about the legality of it, but I certainly understand it.�
A lot of people create theirown enemies.�
I am too honest to be a politician.�
Architects should design buildingsto fit the land not change the land to fit the building.�
Being single if I get fired,it is devastating.� If one of a dual income gets fired, they stillhave an income.�
If people took marriage moreseriously before they got married and less seriously afterwards, they wouldbe a lot happier and the marriage would last longer.�
Honesty is too much for somepeople.�
If you take care of the longterm, you short term will take care of itself.�
Having sex with a woman doesnot prove you are not gay.�
Sex is a crutch and an advantagefor women.�
I fight because I have to notbecause I want to.�
Morality existed before immorality.�
The Aha Phenomenon?� Itis described by the V8 Principle.�
Telling me how to spend my moneyis called slavery.�
If you are going to cut the grass,why did you move to the "country"?�
Most people are not single bychoice.�
Legality, truth, and rights arenot necessarily synonymous.�
Most people will only face upto their problems when forced to.�
Moving to "the country" merelydelays the inevitable and destroys the land in the process.�
Television is just like any othermedium art form.� There is good TV and bad TV.� There is goodcinema and bad cinema.� There is good theatre and bad theatre.�There is good opera and bad opera.� There is good concert and badconcert (from classical to heavy metal).� There is good painting andbad painting.� There is good sculpture and bad sculpture.� Thereis good architecture and bad architecture.� (I, of course, only watchquality TV.)�
There is no such thing as a "holy"war.�
Actually, there is no such thingas a "good" war either.�
Anyone will look like the devilif you take their life out of context.�
Frame of reference determinesa person's impression.� For example:� "That guy is nothing buta womanizer!"� or� "That guy is a real ladies man."�
For a child to be successfulsomeone has to sacrifice.�
There are three secrets to retailsuccess:� 1.� Mob the floor.� 2.� Go to the bathroom.�3.� Walk away from the register.�
I figure if I make someone standat the register for a few minutes they might buy something else.�
In general, as long as peopledo not bother me, I do not care what they do.�
I have known people who had 25years of education who did not know what they were doing.� I havealso known people who had 25 years of experience who did not know whatthey were doing.�
A book or program are never finishedor perfert.�
Most bosses look for blame.�I looked for solutions.�
I like to know what I am talkingabout.�
I have no problem following rules,but it is kind of hard to follow rules that do not make any sense.�
How I learn is unimportant.�What I learn is.�
Most bosses are more concernedwith following orders than doing what works yet it is these same peoplewho argue about experience.�
References should not even beconsidered in job hiring.�
If you get a job simply becauseyou know someone that is corruption.�
Debate is good for any organizationbut unfortunately rarely tolerated.�
Dinosaurs lived for millionsof years.� That did not mean they were doing a good job of survivingjust that their environment was being kind to them.�
Make up your mind!� Do youwant me to follow orders or do you want me to get the job done?�
Slavery used to be legal thatdid not make it right.�
You can pass a law that say gravityflows up but that would not make it true.�
There are some questions I donot answer.�
The brain can not think of thesame thing all the time.� If it did it would burn out the circuitsin its brain.�
My brain, like most brains, workslike this:� It remembers.� It forgets.� It remembers.�It forgets.�
With all the supposedly greattalent in "Hollywood", one would think that someone there would be smartenough to be able to produce really great, interesting movies with a Grating.�
I am 95 percenter not a perfectionist.�That last 5% usually costs more than it is worth.�
A lot of great people are greatnot because of some inate greatness, but merely because of circumstances.�
I CAN be fast.� I just usuallysee no reason to be so.�
Employees do not judge theirstatus by how long they have been with a company, but by their age.�
Relativity theory - the beautyof a woman's body is dependent upon her relative proportions.�
Bosses do not know that an employeewill not quit tomorrow, but then an employee does not know he is not goingto be fired tomorrow either.���
The perceptual difference betweenwalking and running is not as great as the effort required.�
Reverse snobbery is just as aristocratic(and usually just as corrupt if not more so) as snobbery.�
I have nothing to hide or ofwhich to be ashamed.�
I believe in helping people tohelp themselves.�
Classifieds are the jobs no oneelse wants.�
No one teaches a dog how to havesex.���
Science is just the way God doesthings.�
One does not take action andthen go to court.�
I work at staying healthy.�
Women can not stand a singleman.�
Women always want what they cannot have.�
I do not even take myself outto dinner.� Do you think I am going to spend what little money I havetaking some dame out to dinner?�
There are three catalogs at whichI try not to look:� tool catalogs, computer catalogs, and music catalogs.�If I look through these catalogs I want to buy everything in them and Ican not afford to buy everything in them.�
Classifieds are the jobs thatno one wants.�
I am like Clint Eastwood's DirtyCallahan.� I tell the truth about everyone.�
The government should lead byexample not by fiat.� That is why the government should only hirenon-drug users (i.e. smokers and drinkers).�
Affirmative action is not right,but it may be necessary.�
Sometimes one will see a reallybeautiful woman.� Then, she will open her mouth.� Eh?�
Looking at a really beautifulwoman is like looking at a really well designed car.� You enjoy thesensation but realize you can not afford it.�
Any woman may be sexy at anygiven instant, but that does not mean she will be sexy in the long term.�
I do not want less work.�I want more money.�
I have been cursed with goodtaste and little money.�
What is the difference betweena government dictatorship and a corporate dictatorship?� Not a lot.�
Discrimination and mangagementare not the same.�
The law of diminishing returnsapplies to work as well.�
Emotionally, I do not like tobe criticized.� Intellectually, I do.�
Saving your money helps morepeople than if you spend it.�
If high schools were doing theirjob, community colleges would not be needed.�
Going to school in order to geta job is like paying a company to hire you.� I think companies shouldpay me to go to school.�
Ignorance is no excuse for harassment.�
If there is only one corporationremaining after all the mergers, will I still have to leave the companyif they do not like my lifestyle as the courts now support?�
If one is well built, one looksgood wearing anything.�
If I want to have sex with acow, I will go to a barn.� However, some men like cows.� Othercows for instance.� I am just not one of them.�
If you think blowing your noseis filthy, wait until you have sex.�
An honest man is the most dangerousman in the world.� That is why everyone tries to corrupt him.�
There are three things I nevertell.� Who I have sex with.� Who I vote for.� And I forgetwhat the third one was.�� (I used to say money, but everyoneknows I do not have any money.)�
To balance the budget, the governmentshould stop hiring smokers who cost an organization 20% more than non-smokers.�
You do not say I am going toget married and then find someone to marry.� You meet someone youwould like to marry then decide to get married.�
I do not believe in wearing logoclothes.� I figure advertisers should pay ME to advertise their logos.�I should not pay THEM for the privilege of doing so.�
I do not hide behind a gang.�
I only want to be the boss ifI can make more money being the boss.� If I can not make more moneybeing the boss, I do not want to be the boss.�
I believe in doing what works,but not if it is corrupt.�
People will only face up to theirproblems when they have to.�
Beautiful women make me happy,but they cost money which also makes me happy.�
If you work hard you are goingto make mistakes.�
If I had sex with every womanI wanted to have sex with I would not have time for anything else.�
I think I am addicted to baconand milk.�
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��������������MORE TO COME AS THEY COME TO ME OR AS I�����������������������������������REMEMBER THEM.�
